Confusion to contentment. Steps for change

After many days of darkness, of dissappointment, feelings of rejection and lack of self worth, I reached an uncomfortable point of rock bottom. I woke up at night to pray, reflect and change.
And that change was implemented. Darkness turned to light, slowly yet surely.
How I climbed out of my feelings of confusion and doubt is something that I'd like to remember. Because we slip, time and time again. And this will serve as emotional first aid for myself.




Contentment depends on the state of the subconscious mind.
But how do we take care of  something outside our conscious control?


- Indirectly.

It is through our actions.

Turns out all things conscious, our actions (and my extension, thoughts and behaviours) shape our subconscious.
So to create a content and peaceful mind requires actions that will leave behind feelings of contentment.
Doing the things which show we love and respect ourselves. The more of these actions we perform, the greater our self esteem and the greater our feelings of peace and contentment. We are worthy. We are valued and we are able.
Conversely, acting out of sabotage or neglect of the self, worsens the state of the subconscious. Whether that be laziness, self neglect, accepting bad treatment etc.

Change your actions, behaviour and thoughts.
You are enough, just as you are. Imperfect, yet enough. You have beautiful qualities and you are worthy of love and respect.
Then start acting accordingly.


If you don't like how someone if treating you, distance yourself.
Define boundaries.
Say no when you need to.
Take care of your physical form.
Work out to honour your body.
Eat to nourish.
Invest time in the things you're passionate about.
Love others.

Your actions are done either out of love and respect for yourself. Or out of fear, insecurity or doubt. Choose to act out of self love to raise your own esteem. Take control out of the hands of others, and return it to your own hands.
Find validation within yourself and create your own source of positive energy.

I’m tired. Of caring for others when in the end, I’m seen as merely a means to pass the time.
Tired of settling. Tired of caring at my expense. I’m tired of prioritising those who don’t prioritise me.

Love two.

Yourself.
And God.

And focus on this.
With full awareness.
Only this will replenish your depleted heart
Only this will fill you. Complete you.

Pouring to others, being negligent to the two that deserve your love,
Will only leave you feeling emptier than you were to begin with.

Maybe I can't lead a group of people into a more beautiful future. Maybe I can't change the world on the huge scale that I had once hoped to do. 
But I can still change it.
With love and laughter. With understanding. With hope and mercy.
This is the only way I know how. One encounter at a time. One person at a time.
In the hope the impact may ripple.

What inspires you to do good?

Me (muslim), my friend (L, an agnostic) and another friend (V, who was hindu) had a discussion about the role of religion in our daily lives.

L asked a simple question

"As a religious person, why do you do good?"

V answered first. She explained how the afterlife is an important part of her religious beliefs. How she wishes to attain goodness in the next life and so is inclined towards good. 

L seemed dissatisfied.

She then asked me the same question. 

I'm young. Death and the afterlife isn't something that I think about daily. Yet I still want to do good. 

So what drives me?

My response-

A lot of muslims would respond as V did. The desire to attain heaven and to avoid the hellfire keeps us on the right path. But to be driven by that only, in my opinion, indicates a lack of understanding. I love God. 

I wish to spend my life in his service, out of love for him. And it is that love which drives me to do good. He loves us more than a mother loves her child. Would you do good for your mother for material reward? Or would you do so out of love for her, with the desire to make her happy? 

Reward or punishment only goes so far. It is merely a safety net, referred to when we have distanced ourselves from him and his love no longer can be felt (during times when the heart is hardened). It does not influence us in performing acts of love and kindness in our day to day lives. It merely deters us from committing atrocities. 

Someone who does good consistently does so out of a place of love. Never fear. 

Work satisfaction

Find what you're good at. 

What gives you satisfaction. 

The part of you which leaves others in awe.

And let the work of your life utilise it. 

Dua

Dua. Prayer.
To call upon your Lord, seeking his assistance.
To make the way forward.
Whether it be for a solution, for peace, for mercy, or success.

Never underestimate the power of dua.
It is a tool of actualisation.
The means to express your hearts wishes.

To say, helplessly,
"I need to go there, I just don't know how. 
but I turn to you, to pave the way."

Have faith that the way will be made.
And continue.
When the opportunity presents itself,
it will not go missed. It will be recognised. and taken.
Dua sharpens perception.

I AM

Task. 

List all the beautiful things that you are.

And when lost. Go back to it. 

Pursuit of passion

Question everything.
Why you're doing what you're doing.
What motivates you? What drives you? What do you hope to achieve?.
Are you doing it for the right reasons?

Pursuing something for the sake of fame, recognition or appreciation is meaningless.
Enjoyment in moments, but emptiness in what remains.

Whatever you do, however you choose to spend your time, do so wisely. If you were to be unsuccessful, would you regret it the time that was spent?

If the answer is no, the you are in fact following the path of passion, one of liberation.