How are you real?

Not meeting expectations. Disappointing someone you love. Hurting them with your inaction.

Intentions misunderstood. 

Goodness overlooked. 

People don't remember the good, nor will they hold on to it. It is the taste of the bitter which becomes difficult to eliminate. 

Alot has happened over the past few years. Many successes, many failures. 

Some healing, more hurt. 

And at this point, lies a void. A reminder of my own failures. One that I have tried to fill with other successes, love, hard work -in all forms. Yet it remains.
Inaction is in itself an action, one that I regret.
And to fix it-

Redemption. To go above and beyond. Yet any efforts I make seem insignificant and futile. 

It will take time. But I understand now. That feeling of having not done enough. 

We are so different on the surface yet so similar at the core. I don't feel anxious. Worried. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Which so far, every male has stirred these feelings within me. Here, my interest has been piqued, but without fear. I feel at ease. For we both fear Allah too much to stray. And if it doesn't work then that's fine, we can part respectfully. There is no need for passive aggression here. No games are being played. No social experiments. No lies or dishonesty. Just openness, honesty and curiosity.

Hadith Qudsi

And that is why he is Ar-Rahman, the most merciful. 

Each and every one of us has the opportunity, to attain closeness to him. If only we tried. If only we understood the magnitude of the blessing in front of us. A support that never leaves. A light that never dims. Guidance that is always available. Allah extends his help to those that strive for his sake. That fulfil their obligations to him and seek his pleasure. That serve for his sake. And what more could we possible need? In this life of uncertainty, we could be gifted the certainty that our delicate and often fragile lives are in the safest of hands. 

Selfless hearts. Give without expectation. 

Yet are prone to loss. 

They give much more than they receive. 

They pour, till they can pour no more.

Such hearts find solace in few places. 

And safety in one-

in the hands that belong to another selfless heart. 

Sincerity. A rarity.

Yet those who offer it create home..

A place of safety. 

Just look for those who care,

When you don't expect them to. 

Who offer their time.

Soft words. Kind actions. Thoughts. 

And keep you in the most precious of places- prayers.

Then truly, in such people has treasure been found.

Guard it. Secure it. 

Lest another find it, and claim it.