The world is certainly a far more mystical place than what the eyes perceive.

But that mysticism isn't for us. 

For we have been warned against turning to it. 

There is a single source, a single supreme being to turn to. 

And no partners in association. 

And he may give a portion of power to man or jinn, but ultimately all power belongs to him. 

We have a choice, to choose to turn to him, or fall into temptation 

and turn to those that rebel against him. 

Stay clear from the grey area. Its darker than it seems. 

Quiet presence

Embrace your shy demeanour

The way you touch hearts

with soft words of reassurance.

Feel not the need to shout, to be heard.

For those who wish to listen, pause. 

In your shyness lies elegance,

self-assurance,

dignity. 

There is nothing but wonder

in the one who's quiet presence

for one reason or another,

simply cannot be ignored. 

The first step to asserting ones needs is acknowledgement and awareness of them. All of them.
Whether that be the primitive, the carnal or the emotional.

High value

1) Know your core values. Don't ever compromise them.

2) Pay attention to your feelings. Its not necessary to react immediately, but allow yourself time to take them in and act accordingly, working in your best interest in the process.

3) You are in no need of validation or attention from others. You exist peacefully as you are, good people merely add to an already contented life. They are not the source of contentment. That is in you.

4) Mind, body, soul. Work towards nourishing and connecting all three in order to attain balance and contentment. Take care of your mind by feeding it positive thoughts, affirmations and setting realistic long term and short term goals. Nourish the body by feeding it that which it needs. And nourish the soul through self awareness, seeking meaning, minimising negativity and using the heart as a guide.

5) Self improvement: keep building and working on yourself and find ways to utilise the skills and talents you may have. Find your self worth in the way that you are, not the way that you look.

6) Know your worth and only keep those who recognise it within your close circle.

7) Have high standards for the quality of love and friendship which you give and receive. It will make your life more beautiful.

Signs you've found the one

1) You feel at complete ease in their presence

2) You find a sense of peace in them

3) Familiarity 

4) There is mutual respect, appreciation and awe

5) You see their 'flaws' yet they don't bother you

6) You want to give

7) You trust them

8) You want to be close to them

9) You love yourself more

10) You feel safe around them

11) You feel supported and protective

To the ones I love. My inner circle. 

You have my all. No problem is too big or too small for me to sit and work it though with you. No dream is unrealistic and know that when I say I believe in you, I mean it. When I say I see a beautiful future for you, I have full faith in it. If you cannot see it, I will, and show you.

I see you. I see your flaws, yet I find beauty in places you hadn’t looked. I accept you. Just as you are and will remind you why you should perhaps love yourself a little more. I will give, every time I find you in need. What I have to offer is love. Safety. Comfort.. A home.  

All I ask is the same in return.

The same love. The same commitment. The same generosity. Because I have seen too many women lose themselves, to those who take. And I cannot allow myself to be a fool. 

Because she who gives is in need of another who can too. 

It is in these very moments where I usually mess up.
Do I acknowledge these feelings of attachment and allow myself to be vulnerable?.
Or do i reject them due to fear of abandonment and create an emotional distance? Turning cold to hide the fact that i care?

I choose the former. No good comes from the latter.

And as the rest of the world ran one way.
We walked another.

Society is but a sinking ship.

And I cannot go down with it. 

I really do put a lot of pressure on myself to meet expectations.
And the idea of letting others down, especially those whom i care about, shakes me to the core.
So what do I do? Let them down to overcome that fear...

And now I'm here. Unafraid of who stays or leaves.
 ...(what's wrong with me)

How are you real?

Not meeting expectations. Disappointing someone you love. Hurting them with your inaction.

Intentions misunderstood. 

Goodness overlooked. 

People don't remember the good, nor will they hold on to it. It is the taste of the bitter which becomes difficult to eliminate. 

Alot has happened over the past few years. Many successes, many failures. 

Some healing, more hurt. 

And at this point, lies a void. A reminder of my own failures. One that I have tried to fill with other successes, love, hard work -in all forms. Yet it remains.
Inaction is in itself an action, one that I regret.
And to fix it-

Redemption. To go above and beyond. Yet any efforts I make seem insignificant and futile. 

It will take time. But I understand now. That feeling of having not done enough. 

We are so different on the surface yet so similar at the core. I don't feel anxious. Worried. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Which so far, every male has stirred these feelings within me. Here, my interest has been piqued, but without fear. I feel at ease. For we both fear Allah too much to stray. And if it doesn't work then that's fine, we can part respectfully. There is no need for passive aggression here. No games are being played. No social experiments. No lies or dishonesty. Just openness, honesty and curiosity.

Hadith Qudsi

And that is why he is Ar-Rahman, the most merciful. 

Each and every one of us has the opportunity, to attain closeness to him. If only we tried. If only we understood the magnitude of the blessing in front of us. A support that never leaves. A light that never dims. Guidance that is always available. Allah extends his help to those that strive for his sake. That fulfil their obligations to him and seek his pleasure. That serve for his sake. And what more could we possible need? In this life of uncertainty, we could be gifted the certainty that our delicate and often fragile lives are in the safest of hands. 

Selfless hearts. Give without expectation. 

Yet are prone to loss. 

They give much more than they receive. 

They pour, till they can pour no more.

Such hearts find solace in few places. 

And safety in one-

in the hands that belong to another selfless heart. 

Sincerity. A rarity.

Yet those who offer it create home..

A place of safety. 

Just look for those who care,

When you don't expect them to. 

Who offer their time.

Soft words. Kind actions. Thoughts. 

And keep you in the most precious of places- prayers.

Then truly, in such people has treasure been found.

Guard it. Secure it. 

Lest another find it, and claim it. 

Enough

“I am enough.” 
Say it. 
Accept it.

And sigh with relief as the war on the self finally reaches an end.

The woman of fire
With a voice that speaks truthfully,
without apology.
Who rejects the path of least resistance
Her fire, a threat.
To the man of fuel,
Who cannot possibly exist,
as long as flames remain alit.
Resorting to the only option,
To extinguish.

Confession:

I don’t quite know how to behave.
New found confidence,
Conflicting with principles of modesty and the need to conceal.
Reveal or not reveal?

A woman at ease and comfortable in her own skin is mesmerising. She catches the eyes of others, and makes those around her comfortable too.
It’s powerful.
To exude confidence, and attract the gaze.
And so comes the clash with my desire to preserve and protect my modesty.
The end product being a girl using awkwardness to distract attention from her form to avoid the guilt associated with it.

Have I been socialised to be ashamed?
Of the parts of me that distract?

Swift

Just as the wind passes
through the most hostile of lands.
You too can move,
Swiftly. Fearlessly.