The ones who strike

Have you ever asked a question to another, that may require them to explain themselves, and have been met with words that have left you questioning your self worth? Blame shifted onto you? Disrespect? Disregard?

Know that the problem is not with you, but the one who spoke to you that way.

How dare they try and lower another person's self esteem as a knee jerk to feeling vulnerable? In an attempt to mask their own insecurities, they immediately shifted the focus away from themselves and onto another.

Emotionally healthy individuals acknowledge the uncomfortable feeling, accept it and will talk it through. Those who are emotionally unhealthy will simply snap back, using words that pierce like knives. Its a self defence mechanism. Of course, there is reason for that to be in place. Previous betrayal of trust, past emotional trauma.

But you're not supposed to heal whoever you come across, not at the cost of your own self. Leave them be to face their own demons, to realise that they brought upon their own destruction and will continue to do so till real change is made, from within.

Imagine the pain of a marriage built on this uncomfortable reality.
Uncertainty is an answer in itself, to a question too difficult to ask.

Vulnerability

We were made from the Earth, and to it we shall return.
Yet we paint ourselves meticulously, in an attempt to mask the uncomfortable truth.
Vulnerability is an embrace of the true human nature. Flawed and unsure. 

The task is to find another, who may grant us the privilege of being all parts of our inner selves, peacefully. Without fear of rejection or need for change.

May they be a source of peace and comfort. Who one can confide in, remove the mask and feel safe enough to do the most difficult of tasks...be vulnerable.

Mental energy

Preserve your mental energy
Preserve your mental energy
Preserve your mental energy



Gather it, build it up.
Re-invest it, in yourself, in your growth and your passions.
Watch as your mind bears its own fruits.

Self love

There's a misconception about self love. Some associate it with narcissism, being blind to ones own flaws, vanity, perhaps even arrogance?
The truth is far from it.

To understand self love, one must understand love. Not the fictional, romantic kind. Lets focus on a love which most should be able to relate to. Maternal love.
A mother loves her child unconditionally. Being fully aware of the child's clumsiness, tantrums and mistakes, yet she continues to love. She forgives and nurtures, whilst also offering guidance to the child. Yes, she may too lose her patience, but cools down quickly and returns to her natural, caring state. In doing so she accepts them for who they truly. For that child is precious, its a part of her after all and therefore is worthy of consistent compassion.

We seek self knowledge and continue to grow and move forward, yet there lies a child within, who trips, perhaps more often than they should. Who is still afraid, insecure and unsure.
Our inherent and unchangeable quirks represent the child within, perhaps we should show maternal compassion towards them.

Overwhelmed?

To be overwhelmed: The sudden realisation and acknowledgement of all things needing to be done at a single time, ultimately leading to a sense of panic followed by the need to run away ASAP. Or that's my experience of it.
It's unpleasant, stressful and makes life a lot harder than it needs to be.

So how did we get here?

Simply put, by saying yes to often. Yes to meeting a friend, yes to attending that event, yes to helping whoever asked, whilst also having a growing list of tasks and commitments that have yet to be completed.

Becoming overwhelmed is the immediate result of underestimating the value of our own time whilst also neglecting the amount of energy needed to pursue the tasks at hand.

Prevention is better than cure and this is true for dealing with overwhelm. Take steps to ensure it doesn't happen. And if it does happen, take a time out and deal with the tasks at hand in a calm and organised manner.

Now that the problem has been identified, what can be done?
Here are some tried and tested tips on how to break the cycle.

1) Learn to say no. NO. NO. NO. Be blunt or if friendship matters then then politely decline. Those feeling overwhelmed often are usually the same people who say yes by default. Remember, each task takes up valuable energy. "You can't pour out of an empty cup", so know when to say no in order to have the time and energy for what matters.

2) Simplify your life. Have personal goals in mind, ideally written down somewhere easily accessible for quick reference. When things get busy, ask yourself  "Does this contribute towards my personal goals?" before agreeing. If it doesn't contribute towards your long term goals then leave the task at hand or move it to a more convenient time.

3) Be organised. To-do lists really do help. Write down everything that needs to be done, mark the urgent tasks and do those as soon as possible to avoid last minute panic.

4) Check your relationships. 
Are you being emotionally drained?  Hours of precious time could slip away dealing with toxic individuals, leading to a vicious cycle of over thinking and emotional drain. If their negative effect continues following the interaction, chances are they're toxic. CUT THEM OFF.

5) Aim for each day to be balanced. Write down the different aspects of your life. Spirituality, academia, fitness, diet, hobbies/passions etc. Wake up early and try and do something for each of these categories. Focus your day on achieving balance. How we spend our day determines how we spend our lives so be wise with what you do.

Life is chaotic and that in itself is an uneasy reality, no surprise that the illusion of control offers a sense of peace and grounding. Living with balance and structure is perhaps the simplest way to find a space of safety within the chaos.

The purest love

Its going to sound cliche, I know, but its true.
The most purest form of love is love for God.

Love for Allah is the only type of live that not only fills, but overfills. Walk to him and he will run to you. Be mindful of him, appreciate the sights, sounds, delights that you experience daily. Spread greetings, perform your prayers on time, make time for his book.

In other words, use your senses to know yourself, and when you are able to do that, you will find him. Our understanding of ourselves and the world around leads us to Tawheed and strengthens it.

So when the only love you seek is the love of God, you will be returned with an endless personal supply, to then share with others.

Human Connection

Vulnerability, insecurities, fears, hopes, dreams, hardships.

To connect with another involves uncovering what is usually hidden. 

To see a glimpse of the soul that lies underneath, 

and realise that despite the apparent differences, 

we all experience the same turbulence.

Spontaneity

Routine

the killer of creative thought

puts the creative mind to sleep

suppresses higher human functioning

That's why we are advised, to take time out.

To explore,

to learn,

to reflect,

to break from routine and allow the mind to wander.

It awakens the mind and spirit,

allows for discovery.

So when you find yourself uninspired, stuck in the mundane...Go.

Experience the joys of living. Where any sight or sound that delights, awakens you.
Till you're left wondering, why you had deprived yourself of the simplest way to bliss- Meaninglessness 

...

The capacity to give love as an offering is liberating
But how?
How does one give love without expectation, surely that would lead to exhaustion?

To answer that is a life's mission, but the people of the past have answered it for us.

Individuals like Ibn al-Qiyyam, amongst many others, have arrived at the same conclusion.

Seek love only from God.

Be mindful of him, aware of his presence.
Appreciate the sights, sounds, moments.
Use the senses to know him, of his wonders.
Allow love to grow between you and the one who made you, whole and complete.
He brings forth the means for us to better understand ourselves, if only we contemplated.
Participate in the challenge of life fully and search for him.

Seek his love, and once found, enjoy the liberation that comes with giving love to others as an offering.

Regret?

We can regret the things we did, true. But, the most bitter of regrets are of the things we didn't do. For opportunities don't repeat themselves often, and nothing stings more than feeling the loss of what could have been.

Use regret to prompt reflection, and release it immediately. Let it be a tool for self understanding and positive change. To refocus and take corrective action.

For future actions, beautify them with good intentions. It keeps the heart light and the soul pure. For intention is truly the only thing we have control over.