Foundations for healthy relationships

Toxic, manipulative, unhealthy.
As we become more aware of our behaviours, of human psychology and of the effects of unhealthy relationships, we find it easier to overthink the ones we have. Relationships, of any type don’t gave to be complicated. It’s simple really. Have strong foundations and focus on maintaining principles.

This post will summarise how not to be an asshole.

1) Give respect to be respected. Show them you value their point of view. Respect others as you wish to be respected, that means listening, understanding and sknowledging then. Don’t shut people down or try and make them look small, they won’t stick around for long.

2) don’t use people are a means for your benefit. Some people have the ability to manipulate, it comes naturally to them. I’m one of those people and from experience, being able to get another to do as you please doesn’t work well. That’s manipulation. Sooner or later they will realise that they are doing something they don’t oarticularly want to and in the end they will realise and probably resent you for it. We have no right to control the behaviour of others, so next time before doing so, consider the wishes of the other, rather than your own. Keep your interests out of it.

3) accept others. If they’re behaviour isn’t damaging, if their actions aren’t harmful. If they’re not violent or destructive, then why reject them? If your extroverted brother or sister irritates your introverted self, then create your own space rather than telling them to stop. Allow others to express themselves without fear of rejection, tolerate others as long as they bring no harm to you.

4) instil confidence in them. If you see good in someone, say it. Water the plant.

5) if you upset another, accept the mistake and apologise for it. Then find a way to make it up. Maybe you did something unintentionally that hurt another, in those cases, empathise with them. Causing another pain shouldn’t be taken lightly. Apologise and do something small to show you care.

In summary, respect the other party, avoid acting selfishly and make the effort to make the other feel important. If you can do that they will find it very difficult to keep away from you. The world makes us feel unimportant, to find those who value us is what will lift our spirits. Belittling others leads to our own belittlement. Empower others and I assure you, that very love and kindness will find its way back.